~Uliczka

In response to 's omelette recipe let me, the envious being that I am, introduce you to my own oh-God-it's-morning-I-have-to-go-to-work version of the omelette recipe.

Take a bowl. Crack two nice eggs (whole eggs, there's no time to whip the whites into a froth). Find the remnant of what used to be a whole milk carton, pour some into your morning coffee and the rest of it into the bowl. Look for flour. Find you're out of flour as no one has bought it and your mom has used it all up for pancakes the day before. Throw it all to the sink, cursing under your nose.

Go watch some TV and finish your morning coffee.

Go back to the kitchen when you decide you'd like some breakfest after all. Wash the bowl and the egg whisk. Crack another two eggs into the bowl. You don't have any milk or flour left so don't add anything else. Whip the eggs. Take the biggest fucking frying pan you've got because all the others are dirty and you've got no time to wash dishes now. Pour the eggs on the frying pan. Wait until that tiny yellow layer becomes solid and try to roll it over to the other side. Break the omelette while doing it. Irritated, count to ten and turn the gas off.

Put the pieces of omelette on a plate. Put the rest of strawberry jam from the bottom of the jar on it (great, now you're out of flour, milk AND jam too!). Roll it on half. Sprinkle some sugar on it. You deserve it. Calories? Never heard of 'em. Now go eat it while watching the reruns of "Dancing with Stars". Congratulations. You've just made your own breakfest, Uli's style.

And if you think I'm exaggerating, that's exactly whwat happened to me one morning. This is why I don't like Mondays.